The Trials of El Cid

god amoungst men says billy

2004-08-10T11:02:49Z

Good news for the evening.

BEER OLYMPICS STARTED TONIGHT!

HEADLINES!

Tonight, Jasko (world champion of the universe) broke two drinking records.

NOW NEWS FROM THE BEER OLYMPICS!

Events for Monday, August, 9th 2004:

Triple-Unprepoured Chug - Fastest to chug three beers. Cups can be used but beers are not to be prepoured.

Triple-Prepoured Chug - Fastest to chug three beers. Cups can be used and beers are prepoured.

Single-Prepoured Chug - Fastest to chug one beer. Cups can be used and beers can be prepoured.

FIRST:
The Triple-Unprepored Chug event was drank in a mind-boggling :53.6 seconds by the up-and-coming Jasko. YES! Kojas edged out the nearest competition (Billy Sullivan) by a massive 10 seconds! Billy put up an impressive 1:03 but fell to the might of the J-HO. Ross Gray came in 3rd with an equally quality time of 2:09. Way to go gentlemen!

SECOND:
A wild day was witnessed in the Triple-Prepoured Chug competition. In the blistering time of 25 seconds, the champ, Jasko, took the field by storm! Proving his prowess on the drinking field, Kojas took gold by narrowly topping the second best time of Billy Sullivan of 27 seconds. A third contender was not to be found! CRAZINESS!

THIRD:
A favorite of the Beer Olympics was a close one! Billy "the BEAST" Sullivan put forth a powerful Single-Preppoured Chug time trial of 7 seconds. Jasko was put to shame as he came in a weak second with the time of 7.3 seconds. When asked to comment on the victory, Billy Sullivan stated, "Jasko is a fearsome opponent but... GIVE ME ANOTHER FUCKING BEER!"
Jasko respond simply by saying, "The BS (Billy Sullivan) is a mad man. If only I could get into his pants."
The third best time for the Single-Prepoured was posted by Stuart Morris at 9 seconds.

AS FOR TOMORROW!
The Triples Case Race!

The Triples Case Race is an endurance/sprint race between two teams of three drinkers. Each team is given a standard case of beer (24 cans/12 fluid ounces each) of the team's choosing. After the start is given, both teams attempt to drink their case as fast as possible. The first team done wins the race. Each member of the a team is required to drink a minimum of two beers. If a member of a team vomits, that member is disqualified from the race and his/her drank beer count is removed from the team's total. The use of cups and/or beer bongs is prohibited.

The Triples Case Race, one of the greatest trials of endurance at the Beer Olympics, will be hard fought by the rival teams, Team Ravish (lead by world famous sprinter, Jasko) and Team Anal (lead by long time reigning endurance champ, Billy Sullivan). Team Ravish, the upstart and slightly inexperienced team is lead by medal winner and top sprinter, Christopher "Kojas/J-HO/The Ho/Sucka MC" Jasko. Jasko's lieutenant, Josh "Huge" Plake and first time sargent Adam "Fuzz/Sexy/Super Fluff/Fratty/SEXXXXXXXXX-A" Kaney, will fill out the roster of Team Ravish. Billy "the Beast/BS" Sullivan will lead Team Anal and feature lieutenant, and long time favorite, Ross "Ro-Ro" Gray and his greenhorn sargent, Stuart "Faggie Pants" Morris into the contest.

THE TEAMS
Team Anal - Drinking Miller Lite
The Sullivan/Gray combo is one of the best in the business and after a poor medal showing today, Gray is likely to put all possible effort, and stomach room, forward. Sullivan, a long time champion of the endurance field will likely prove a major asset to Team Anal and his lieutenant will likely follow suit. Few can handle Sullivan's brutal style of drinking, a fury of double fisted beers and chugging. Some analysts claim Sullivan as being the best endurance drinker ever in the Post-War era and few believe his level of skill and gut will ever be surpassed.
Ross Gray, a former champ of the East Dayton region and lieutenant of Team Anal, has only recently seen his ability shadowed by the skills of Team Ravish Captain Jasko. Gray has long been a threat in every drinking competition, endurance or sprint, and no one doubts his natural skill. As of late, Gray has trained less intensely as in past years. However, Captain Sullivan is sure in his lieutenant's ability.
An occasional professional drinker, Stuart Morris, has often been considered a major force in the drinking sport. When committed to a competition, Morris is a feared adversary and has won his fair-share of accolades. Also, Morris, is more at home when dealing with scotch or whiskey but is nearly as adept in the consumption of beer. Always the wildcard, Morris is considered the lynchpin of the contest for Team Anal.

However, don't count Team Ravish out of this battle.

Team Ravish - Drinking Natural Light
The young and cocky Captain of Team Ravish, Jasko, has been described as the possible heir to the endurance throne (currently held by Sullivan) and has shown himself as a champion sprinter. Jasko, who put up impressive sprint times today, will likely be ready for a well fought Case Race. Jasko was quoted as saying, "I know the Beast (Sullivan) is king of the endurance field, but I'm not scared. I'm sure I can match him and if I can do that, we can win."
Jasko's lieutenant, Josh Plake also seemed equally confident, saying, "FUCK THOSE BITCHES!" Plake, still to compete at this year's Beer Olympics, has proven himself as a top Dayton-area drinker, yet has had his skill and training routine called into question by experts in the drinking sport as of late. Jasko rebukes these claims, calling them "utter bullshit" and "rambling of idiots," citing, "Huge (Plake) always comes ready to compete and I wouldn't have him as my lieutenant if I wasn't sure in his skill." The lieutenant of Team Ravish is a strong drinker, or at least has been, and his skill will greatly benefit his team tomorrow.
Working as sargent for Team Ravish is Adam Kaney. Kaney, a relative newcomer to the world of professional drinking, has worked long and hard to earn a place on Team Ravish to compete against Team Anal. Training with the likes of Billy Sullivan and long time great yet retired Josh Ray, Kaney is a standout in the field of drinking. Touted as the possible next coming of Ross Gray, much is expected of Kaney and tomorrow he sets out to prove he is just that.

Regardless, Team Ravish will have a large bill to fill if it expects to defeat Team Anal.

Strengths/Weaknesses
Team Anal is considered strong in it's one-two combo of Sullivan and Gray. Both are top notch drinkers and many believe they're the face of this year's Case Race and will continue to be for years to come. Sullivan is a skilled sprinter and excellent endurance man. Gray is know for his intense sprints and control of vomit. If Sullivan and Gray gain a slight lead on the opposite captain and lieutenant, expect a victory for Team Anal.
Team Ravish is stronger in it's lieutenant and sargent positions. Plake is a beast in the endurance field, thanks to his hugeness and Kaney usually outshines Team Anal's sargent, Morris, at competition. Plake is expected to drink as much as Gray, if not as quickly as Gray. Kaney displays decent sprint ability and endurance. If team Captain Jasko can hold up against Sullivan, Team Ravish could walk away with a narrow victory.
Team Ravish will need to worry about it's captain in this contest. While Jasko is an excellent sprinter, his endurance has never been particularly stunning. Luckily, Jasko demonstrates excellent vomit control.
Both teams are considered weak in their sargent positions.
Adam Kaney, sargent for Team Ravish, is a strong drinker but is new to the sport and at times unsure at competition. Experts believe Kaney will be in the next wave of professional drinkers but that he is not quite there yet. Some claim his inexperience as his only weakness but others doubt the elasticity of his stomach and control of vomit.
Team Anal has it's own problems with it's sargent, Stuart Morris. Morris has never seemed to devote himself entirely to the sport and on occasion has stated, "Why don't we just drink to drink?" This lack of enthusiasm could be Team Anal's Achilles Heel if Morris slacks on his duty.

What to expect?
Team Anal | Team Ravish
Captain Sullivan = 11 beers | Captain Jasko = 9 beers
Lieutenant Gray = 8 beers | Lieutenant Plake = 9 beers
Sargent Morris = 5 beers | Sargent Kaney = 6 beers

Approx. Match Time = 45 minutes

Winner = Team Anal - by 3 beers

MEDAL COUNT!!!!!!!!!!
(those holding medals)

Chris Jasko - 2 Gold, 1 Silver
Billy Sullivan - 1 Gold, 2 Silver
Ross Gray - 1 Bronze
Stuart Morris - 1 Bronze

FIN!

sha sha

2004-08-10T08:53:42Z

Red = where Kojas has been.

The eastern US is my bitch! WOOT!

discombobulated for all the right reasons

2004-08-09T06:45:26Z

Michigan... where do I start?

Basically, I hate Michigan. Yes... I HATE Michigan. I mean, it sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks. Actually, I hate every state except for Ohio. Come on folks! Ohio is so bad ass it hurts your retinas! Look at the initials for Ohio. OH. OH! OHHHHHH! OH BABY OHIO KICKS ASS!

Seriously. We do.

On a more serious note, I recommend everyone declare August 20th, "National Alcohol Poisoning Day!" It'll be the day that everyone, man, woman, dog, get's hammered and makes sexual passes on their cousins! It'll be so sweet that I bet you'll crap your pants... TWICE!

Oi...

Last but not least, dizziness equals happiness; or so say recent surveys. Sure, vomiting is not fun, but spinning is SO in. Whee!

time isn't the only one counting

2004-07-12T20:09:41Z

Rae! I think Friday we're going to be stuck hanging-out together while Melissa is at work. So... What do you want to do? We can swim or hike or see a movie or drink or bother my friends or drink or anything else you can think of. Lemme know!

joyride with a walrus and everything is cake

2004-07-08T08:02:08Z

Tonight... Ah yes. Tonight.
I saw the world of Ross.
I drank in the right.
The Beast was flowing right out.
We all drank heartily without a doubt.
Ross, Jake, Stu, Yam and Dan.
All were in attendence.
All absorbed by the can.
Drinking from a dependence.
These are the days we live for.
These are the days that kill us.
But I only ask for more.

I question the reason.
I query the why.
I can't see who I'm pleasing.
We all live before we die.
If only for a short time.
So lets spend it at the bottom of a bottle.
I'll be the perfect model.
Drink with me.
Drink your life away.
Drink away happily.

I don't know what that was all about. I'm too drunk to think. Maybe it'll make sense in the morning. All I know is that I need some damn sleep. Oh, and Rae... CALL ME DAMMIT!

i want to be cool too

2004-07-03T16:06:22Z

Wow, Chani will be my wife, only to cheat on me with herself! Then in a turn of events I'll cheat on Chani by sleeping with Chani while Melissa and Rae will successfully try and kill me! Oooh! THE DRAMA!

why skirts ruined the world

2004-07-03T15:52:00Z

Two orders of business...

ONE:

WARNING! MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE SPIDERMAN 2 FLICK! BUT WHO KNOWS?!

Spiderman 2 was pretty damn lame. Not just lame-lame but lame-duck lame. Sure, I enjoyed the action bits and some of the dialog was bearable, however a majority of the non-action scenes seemed useless, long, and an invitation to Snoozeville's Nap-Time District. Come on people! I don't give a damn about Peter confessing to Aunt May about how his uncle died! I don't care why we need superheros or that we all have some good in us! Sam Raimi! You know better than that! Stick to the good stuff dammit! The train fight scene was awesome! AWESOME! But the following scene on the train was hokey as all get out. I was depressed. AND WHAT THE HELL! Doc Ock was a sweet villain. He kicked ass! So why the hell did he have to die?! I forget seeing that in the comics. Maybe I missed a back issue. AHHHH! Dammit Hollywood! QUIT RUINING MY SUPERHEROS!

DOS:

WARNING! MAY OFFEND PEOPLE WHO LIKE WEARING SKIRTS! (AKA cumdumpsters or the Scots)

Alright, I have a huge problem with fashion today; especially womens' fashion. Well, really I only have a problem with one specific area... SKIRTS! That's unfair. I don't hate all skirts. I don't mind your long skirts, your knee-length skirts. No, I'm fine with those. Often times they're very tasteful and look good. No, no, no. By hating skirts, I'm talking about the current trend to wear skirts that are more a small cut of fabric that barely drops below a wearer's ass. COME ON PEOPLE! What the hell are you doing! I mean, I love seeing a woman's legs as much as the next guy but I don't want to see it all right away! What happened to keeping a guy in suspense?! I WANT THE MYSTERY BACK! It's like poker, you don't show your hand to everyone right away! You make them guess! You make them work for it! That's what makes it fun! I want a challenge to see more and more of a chick's anatomy! Not a damn leg buffet open all the time! However, this is not my only issue with these glorified rags barely hanging over your ass. I'm going to be blunt and come out with it... MOST OF THE TIME THEY LOOK TRASHY! I guess this is unbeknownst to a large portion of the female population that wear these skirts. YOU LOOK LIKE A SLUT! A TWO-CENT WHORE LOOKING FOR THEIR NEXT TRICK! For the love of whatever god you pray to! GET A CLUE AND A PAIR OF PANTS! I don't ever expect to see anyone wear a skirt like that unless they're a prostitute, stripper, porn actress, or garbage man! Oh... but it goes on! People who shouldn't be wearing these things are. Now little girls are wearing these get-ups! What?! Why does a 13-year old need to show off that much leg?! Need to attract more perverts I suppose? Why the hell did their parents let them out of the house looking like a tramp or for that matter, BUY THEM THE DAMN THINGS!? Not to mention one key fact... I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT MUCH OF ANY LITTLE GIRL! It might turn you on but it's a damn disgrace and smutty! I'm not kidding! It's as Stu Morris would say, "REDICULOUS!" (Yes, I know it's spelled ridiculous.) But other people think they should be wearing this trash when they shouldn't! Everynight at the Pine Club I see at least 30 old and/or overweight ladies wearing the slut ensemble! Now older ladies! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! Why can't you wear something nice?! What? You couldn't afford the rest of the skirt? I know you're rich as hell! WEAR SOMETHING RESPECTABLE DAMMIT! I don't want to see your droopy and wrinkled legs! Save that for your friggin' hubby! And fat chicks?! Who said I want to see that piece of cloth almost get ripped off your legs every time you walk?! Nor do I want to see your fat ass spilling over and out of your skirt! Hit the gym then dress like a slut if you want or GET A FUCKING MOO-MOO! I'm not saying you can't try to be sexy, but I'm sure you'll get more vomit than compliments wearing that outfit!

...ugh.

So come on ladies! Do us all a favor and throw out those stupid frayed skirts and ass huggers. I assure you we'll (guys) all appreciate it and you'll look decent, if only for a moment.

Whew, saving that last one up for a few days...

sunbathe in a vat of malice

2004-06-30T08:05:43Z

I have come to realize that I, Christopher Michael "Moonwalker" Jasko, am quite the bitter man. Yes, sadly and surely, many things drive me insane and to the point of anger. Well, not so much anger as say... a tirade of whining and cursing. Better yet, outright bewilderment and annoyance.

For example;
Person: So Chris, (insert comment about my current hair style).
Me: Yup. (under breath) Just go die.

So what's a man, a man as simple as I no less, to do?

This is what I have decided...

I'm going to write about it. Right here. Whenever something that frustrates me happens. ASAP.

What surprise do I have this evening?

KOTEX COMMERCIALS ON ADULT SWIM!

For the love of all that is holy! What the fuck!?! No really! WHAT THE FUCK!?! Some, please, please, please, I'm begging, Tell me why Kotex commercials are on [AS]! The target demographic (males 18-34) has no need for Kotex! When the hell am I going to be at Meijer and ask myself, "Oooh, should I pick up some of those Kotex? I hear the wrappers are silent so now no one will be the wiser when I'm carrying them around."? What the fuck man?! What man gives a damn about tampons?! Let me tell you who! NO FUCKIN' MAN! I don't want to see feminine products invading my nightly ritual of Futurama, Trigun and everything in-between! Who at Kotex thinks advertising in a male dominated demographic will successful? WHO? They should be taken out in a field and shot! Oh, not only once! TWICE DAMMIT! And come on [AS]! Why? You damn money-whores! Take off the fucking commercials! I don't care how much money you're making! LOSE THEM! AHHHHHHHHH!

...whew.

Well, that was fun.

weapons grade bologna-um for the coked-up scientist

2004-05-06T00:13:59Z

Many people come up to me and they sez, "Chris, you're so handsome, athletic, and intelligent. What's your secret?"

Do you know what I tell these folks?

"The secret is I'm not ugly like you, jag-a-lag!"

I mean, sometimes it hurts to look this good. I'm just too damn sexy. Why did God have to be such a bastard and make me so perfect? Everyone must be soooo totally jealous and it's unfortunate since they're all so ugly. Poor, poor ugly kids. Will they have no justice? The worst part is different though. With so many people following me and telling me how magnificent I am (which I already know!), things can become a huge hassle. It's rough. Very very rough. It's hard to look a little boy in the face and say, "I'm sorry kiddo, but my lower GI trac is more appealing to look at then you."

Sometimes I wish I could spread my beauty to some of the less fortunate people of this world, even if they'd only look nearly as good as me for just one day.

But somehow I carry on...

I fight for that horrid looking wench on the corner, I pray for the breaded lady, and I work tirelessly for the fat ass stuck on the couch!

Stand tall and proud my ugly brothers and sisters. May you know you'll never be as good as me but! YOU CAN DREAM! Dream I say! DREAM!

And remember jag-a-lags, it doesn't matter how beautiful you are. All that matters is that you realize you're second rate to me.

photoshoots for the blind and underpaid

2004-05-04T18:28:24Z

By popular demand I bring you...

...cum-dumpsters.

Cum-dumpsters are people who are huge cocksuckers. These people loves them some penis and always want to suck a wiener dry. Basically, they're bipedal receptacles for mass amounts of spooge. Such people are identifiable by the lust in their eyes while viewing a man-root, white stains about their shirt, or a mouthful of semen. Do not be fooled though, cum-dumpsters come in all shapes, sizes, races, religions, and sexes. While many people do love to rock the cock, not all are cum-dumpsters. Be weary of the so called spunk monkeys or wazz warriors for they do not love the wanker nearly as much as the cum-dumpster. My girlfriend, for example, is not a cum-dumpster. She is more like the uncum-dumpster. Or maybe the ice queen... Regardless, people like Michael Robert Queen and Rachel Hughes are true cum-dumpsters and should be given the respect they deserve as a cum-dumpster; none.

The term cum-dumpster is also a highly effective insult. Try such uses as, "Hey you dumb fuck cum-dumpster!" "Only a cum-dumpster would shove my hamster up their ass, so I guess that makes you a cum-dumpster!" or "The molecular mass of uranium has rendered you a huge cum-dumpster!"

In closing, remember that everyone loves a good cum-dumpster. So get on your knees, ready to please, and do try not to let any dribble on my shoes.

Enjoy.

kill the cossack before he finds your candy

2004-05-03T08:38:11Z

Tonight I have come to two conclusions...

Conclusion number one:
Being a secret agent special forces type person with crazy skills would awesome. You could do all sorts of awesome stuff! For example, you could slay an entire army with a pistol or kill a ninja (YES! A ninja!) or even dance until you didn't feel like it would get anymore chicks in your bed. Hide-N-Seek would also rock because of your super crazy stealth powers and if someone caught you you could break their necks! It'd be so cool most people would cry. No joke, it'd be so sweet, you could do anything and if anyone said, "Hey! You can't do that!" you could smile and in a proud voice reply, "It doesn't matter! I'm a secret agent special forces type person," as you ripped their heart right out of their chest (with your bare hands!!).

Conclusion numero dos:
Beer is still excellent and drinking it is good. Drinking beer is so good that sometimes I pee my pants when I think about how good it is. I don't know anything that is quite the same as drinking beer, unless it involves drinking beer. I mean, seriously, beer is so cool, it makes you look good. I LOVE IT. Sure, sometimes it can make you sick or arrested or naked or all of the above, but it's worth it. Totally.

So remember kids, train to be a secret agent special forces type person and drink heavily.

...and buy me a katana.

Rollos and kung-fu

2004-04-30T07:44:08Z

Once my friend, Tony Felix, told me, "You can't let those bastards get you down... PULL THE NINE AND LET DAT GAT EXPLODE!" Tony always was a better and smarter man then most, and he was only 10.

But really, I wonder. Maybe I should let my gat explode? Nah... I'm no damn fool. Gangstas such as myself need to watch who they light up... you never know when some bad gangbangin' motha' fucka will come along and ice yo ass for dropping his homie.

True, life on the streets ain't easy. In the 45403 people push anything you want or need... most of the time you'll take it just like that, actin' like a big bad fucka when you ain't shit. Mofos always frontin', all up in yo grill, dippin' yo bit-ness, actin' all fool. But tomorrow... that will be all 5000. Getting 5140 off da' sixtay-fohs.

Yes, Chris Jasko is one bad ass mutha' fucka.

Oh, and life is good when you know you've got someone there for you. I think you know who you are.

Yay yay yay!

2004-04-29T20:20:20Z

Tomorrow I see Melissa. Yay yay yay! Tonight I have to work. No no no! Matt isn't as cool as me. Yay yay yay! Eddie Money rocks hardcore. Yay yay yay! I'm like the wolf in the night. Yay yay yay!

Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!

Melissa rocks too!

Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!

Good times for me!

Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!
Yay yay yay!

...fin.

All your Jasko are belong to us.

2004-04-28T01:10:46Z

Ah... exams. The being of the end, the path to freedom, and a waste of time. Oh sure, you might rave, "But...? But..?! EXAMS ARE IMPORTANT!"

To this I reply, "HAH! You said butt twice!"

Come on people! Seriously! Who gives a damn about exams? How important can they be? Not very important at all! It's fantastic! They're easy little of pieces of paper that mean the learning is about to end! REJOICE I SAY!

Now, on to the most ridiculous item of the day; people getting all teary-eyed and upset about the year coming to a close. I mean, sure, I can understand people would be upset about leaving friends or maybe seeing the end to a chapter of life, however... LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE FOLKS! We're one step closer to the end of our academic careers, we have had a chance to grow, and life is great!

"But Chris!" you whine, "I'm not ready to give up this time I've had! I don't want to go! I'll miss everyone soooooooo much!"

Well you know what?! TOO DAMN BAD YOU BIG SISSIES! It is over! You don't get anymore time! Your whining won't change a damn thing! Suck it up and march boldly into the future! You might be right. You might lose friends. Some may move away, yet some may grow closer. Quit trying to maintain order dammit! Let your life fall into entropy like everything else is! Take a moment to allow yourself to see the future and give up the past! Maybe you won't be so damn unhappy if you just fess up to the fact that things change. Life is moving and your stupid, whining ass won't stop it!

So please, join me in welcoming the end. In welcoming the future. And most importantly, in welcoming happiness. Oh yeah, I'm done.

magnifico on a travois

2004-04-19T06:13:56Z

As I arose this morning from my gentle slumber, I was horrified to find the sounds of that sweet music boring into my soft brain matter. What was this that disturbed me at such a low hour? I quickly found myself in a shadow of despair and the weekly forecast looked grim my friends. Partly cloudy tomorrow but a strong 60% chance of DOOM! But! Fear, or dread, I did not! NO! I gathered my diminishing strength and set forth on a journey that could only be considered nearly epic. I dove down! Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deeeeeep, down into the chilly waters of this fiendish nightmare and covered my chest in shame. No, no, not in shame! Dare I say... pleasure? I DARE! I DARE! My friends, it was at this time, noon-ish standard eastern, which I ascended in quite the volte-face manner and did play to my own beat verily! And in all of this exorbitant and daft whoopla I did have a vision. NAY! A hallucination! I dreamed a cream sky dripping with rage and a boiling sea of tranquility! Then, as if from a greater entity, all the reds, blues, fuchsias, and beiges swirled together in a furious hurricane! The ensuing madness led to tremendous property damage and one report of poodle theft! Yet behold the glory that was spawned from such lawlessness and degradation; a mountain of thought and science. As I stood in astonishment, I realized I had yet to bathe in o'er a fortnight! As I began the sacramental ritual of the Bathing of El Cid I came to an epiphany... it was all good.

why not

2004-04-16T07:07:26Z

well growing up in the burbs was never easy as a young whitie, but i did it damnit and after making it through, i feel i am a bigger person. you see the fact of the matter is such that i (one singular man so dubed tony) am not limited to all this yeahoo yah-hoo of roles or or or even like places man. you know. well basically what i am saying is that, sure i was born the heir to some freakin company or kingdom or something who knows anymore right. well i guess my point, not to be confused with the pizzoint, which by the way is quite sexy if i may say so myself. well the point as i was saying is...hey did you know that if you heat up water enough in the microwave that it will explode, and on that note spontanious compustion happens almost every day, cept the man don't want you to know so they cover it up like two fine young skizzers slipping in the slide diddlie do you know. anywho the point is yeah so maybe it isn't the best idea to live life on the dangerous side, but you only live once per lifetime so why not?